plfino asked: There was a hushed confidence about Albert Brooks this morning, as he hopped in his Lexus and drove down to Morty's. He ordered a cup of coffee and poached eggs. The TV was turned to the Oscar telecast, and when Al's name didn't come up, he did his best to mask his disappointment. In one smooth motion, he picked up his knife, wiped it, and ran it down the arm of the nearest patron, slicing the brachial artery and staining the floor with blood. "It's done," he said. That fucker von Sydow was next
Brooks burst out of Morty’s diner holding his knife. Then he dropped his knife and found a gun. “It’s time… to die,” he said. He shot everyone, and then he took all the Oscars home. And that’s why we need tort reform.
link